Am I the only one who sees?
This is what I asked myself, over and over again, as I squirmed in my uncomfortable chair during my least favorite class.
I can't be the only one who is sickened by this. I can't be alone here! Can I…?
I jabbed my Sharpie pen down onto my paper, scribbling furiously, trying to come up with my next project design. But all I could focus on was the vile words and boisterous laughter of the group beside me.
How on earth could they think this way? Don't they care?
It was all I could do to hide the rage and hurt building up inside of me as they jabbered on about their weekend plans--to drop into a local strip club and throw things at the dancers.
I could feel my heart just smoldering inside my chest--their usual R-rated swearing and obscene jokes was one thing, but this crossed a line for me. I wanted to say something... But I had no words. What could I say? "You better be nice to strippers--they're people too!" "Jesus loves prostitutes, shouldn't you?"
I hate being in situations like this. I hate witnessing how dark the world is and feeling helpless to change it. I hate going to concerts and seeing drunk people stumbling around. I hate seeing girls willing to exploit themselves in order to feel loved. I hate seeing drugs and alcohol rip apart families. I hate seeing people give up because they feel hopeless and alone.
But at the same time, something in me desperately needs to see those things. Something in me needs to witness the suffering.
Sometimes I feel like I live in a little glass bubble, safe and protected from the horrible world, happily oblivious to the pain and darkness "out there." But inside that bubble, I am trapped and restless because I know that there are those outside my little glass bubble who are hurting. Who are Lost. Who are wandering in darkness, blind and ignorant of the Impact their choices have. When I step out of my bubble, when I see how dark the world really is, my eyes and my heart are opened, and I feel compassion. I feel hurt. I feel love and hate all rolled into one. And I know I have to do something about it.
But what? Well, to be at all honest, I'm not completely sure. So, for now, I write--and hope I'm not the only one sickened by the darkness.
✝ Rebecca
P.S.: Do any of you feel like you live in a little glass bubble? Do you ever feel the need to see the darkness, or are you content where you are? What do you do to try to bring a little light into the world? Leave a comment.
Wow. Powerful post. I agree, it's horrible what goes on, and almost as bad (if not worse) that most people don't pay any attention to it. That's a serious theme that I like to use in my stories, and hopefully I can use my skills to make a little difference.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone.
Yes, that's very true, unfortunately. We've become desensitized to it, it seems. It's great you want to make a difference, and I'm sure you will. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!!
Wow. Thanks for posting this. I wholeheartedly agree with you. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE! :)
ReplyDeletesometimes it all feels like a bad nightmare and you cant wake up.the dark shit we absorb can eat at our soul until we are so tramatized and feeling hopeless,that we even see the darkness that has been creeping into our selves, is reflected back all around us, its hard sometimes not to respond to the negative energy with multiplied negative energy.sometimes it seems like are self flowing through others,then you ask what is self,are we all seperate or are we all many illusions of one unaware that we are hurting and hating our self by being able to seperate our core in our soul,like making a differiential observation like the baby who doesnt reconize there own reflection.its so we learn about our self more deeply by conecting with others hurt.sorry this got a lot drawn out,ill try to express with deeper clarity some other time.
ReplyDelete